Vocabulary – How to Relax!

There are many different ways to talk about relaxing in English. However, I’ve noticed that many English learners have difficulty using the verb relax and the adjective relaxed correctly.
In this lesson, you’ll learn how NOT to relax! You’ll also learn the 4 forms of relax to use and how to use them in a sentence.
1. ‘Relax’ as a verb
INCORRECT:
After a hard day at work, I just want to relax myself
*You cannot ‘relax yourself.’ When you use the verb relax, the listener or reader already knows that you are doing it to yourself. You don’t need to say ‘He relaxes himself‘ or ‘I relax myself.’ That’s what relax means!
CORRECT:
After a hard day at work, I just want to come home and relax.
It’s difficult for me to relax when I’m working on a stressful project at work.
When I want to relax, I put on some comfortable clothes and I read a good book.
I relaxed when I realized the plane wasn’t going to crash.
Relax! There’s no reason to get so worked up over such a small problem.
What are you doing right now?
~ I’m just relaxing.I like to relax by* watching TV, listening to music, or going to the gym.
[Note that ‘relax by’ is followed by a gerund.]
2. ‘Relaxing’ as a gerund
We spent our vacation relaxing on the beach in Mexico.
Ways of relaxing include taking a bath, going for a walk or listening to music.
Here’s a picture of my mom and me relaxing on the deck.
Some people like to spend Victoria Day relaxing at home.
3. ‘Relaxed’ as an adjective
INCORRECT:
I get more relaxed when I exercise.
*Relaxed is not something you can get. You can feel it, be it, or a similar verb.
CORRECT:
After a day at the spa, I always feel so relaxed!
I just took a bath. I feel so relaxed now!
When I saw her after the exam and she seemed very relaxed.
I love going to that gym. It has such a relaxed atmosphere.
He always looks so relaxed when he’s giving a speech.
Even though the project was over budget and out of time, the project manager always seemed so relaxed.
4. ‘Relaxing’ as an adjective
A swim in the ocean, a massage and an afternoon nap. What a relaxing way to spend the day!
Gardening is so relaxing.
When I have trouble sleeping, I put on some relaxing music.
After a hard day at work, I like to take a hot bath. It’s so relaxing.
She has a very relaxing way of speaking.
Oh, My GOD! Thank you very much. This lesson make me realize that I always make the mistakes of “relax myself” and “get relaxed”!
By the way, why it is not “After a hard day at work, I just want to come home to relax.” but “After a hard day at work, I just want to come home relax.”, i.e., there is no “to” before relax?
Hi, Michael! It’s nice to read all of your comments!
Thank you for pointing out the typo. I have corrected it. It should have said:
“After a hard day at work, I just want to come home and relax.”
All the best,
Melanie
Hi Melanie, thanks for your lesson. It is simple and exaustive.
Just a question. Can I say: “I relaxed as I haven’t done for a long time”?
Is it correct?
thanks in advance,
all my best,
Chiara
Hi, Chiara!
I was playing around with this sentence on Google. It sounds better if you say,
“I relaxed like I hadn’t done in a long time.”
The verb ‘relax’ is in the past tense, so the next clause should be in the past perfect.
You could also say,
“I am relaxing like I haven’t done in a long time.”
= )
Hi,teacher Melanie
you’re right!!! It is very common among my students,too!!! I always provide them with plenty of examples but they come up with “I’m relax” again and again!!! 😀 😀 😀
teachers are incredibly patient!!! Aren’t we??? ;))
By the way, thank you for all this useful stuff here!!! God bless you :))
Hi Melanie!
thanks for d inputs regarding d correct usage of relax….
“i know i would have read for you had i been there to make you relax.”
‘to make you relax”….is it correct?
Hi, Piau!
Wherever did you learn to write ‘d’ instead of ‘the’? And why on earth would you write like that on a website where you are asking for help with your English?! When you write like that, you tell people that you are not educated & that you don’t care about your English. Please don’t write like that on my website. It is difficult to read & it is difficult for other English learners to understand. Here’s a better way to write your comment:
Thanks for the information regarding the correct usage of relax!
A better sentence is:
“If I had been there, I would have read to you to make/help you relax.”
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Hi, Melanie.
A student of mine wrote this sentence: “Sometimes I sleep for relax me”.
I corrected it as: “Sometimes I sleep to feel relaxed”.
I also have trouble using the verb ‘relax’ correctly. Is there a way I could have corrected his idea without using ‘feel’? Something like: “Sometimes I sleep to relax”. Would that be acceptable?
Thank you!
This is an interesting question, Jerry!
Both your sentences are fine:
“Sometimes I sleep to feel relaxed.”
“Sometimes I sleep to relax”
You could also say,
“I relax by sleeping.”
=)
When we attend yoga class, it is quite common to hear a sort likes “Shanti! Relax your body, relax your mind, then you may relax your good self”, is it correct? If not, by what way we can describe relaxation in progress?
Hi, John!
Is your yoga instructor a native speaker? It sounds odd to me to say ‘you may relax your good self.’
I googled “you may relax your good self” and nothing came up. I googled “relax your good self” and there was only 1 item, and it was someone making a joke.
You can just say ‘relax your body, relax your mind.’
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Hi Melanie,
I’m learning a lot from your blog. I really appreciate it.
Here’s a picture of my mom and I relaxing on the deck.
When I read the sentence above, I thought “I” should be “me” because it’s the object of “of”. If I’m wrong, would you please explain the grammar?
Thank you.
Hi, Sunny! You are correct!
“Here’s a picture of my mom and I relaxing on the deck.”
(Is this a sentence from somewhere on my website? I’m curious because I need to correct it!)
Remembering whether to use I or ME in a group of people is one of the most confusing grammar points for native speakers (including me!). In Canada (and probably the US, too) we aren’t taught a lot of grammar in school. This is why you hear a lot of native speakers (incorrectly) say “myself” instead of I or me … they can’t remember which to use, so they just use a completely different word!
I learned a simple trick that helps me remember if I need to use I or ME: Take away everyone else except I or ME, and ask yourself, does the sentence still make sense?
“Here’s a picture of I relaxing on the deck.” – This is INCORRECT!
“Here’s a picture of me relaxing on the deck.” – This is CORRECT!
Therefore, the sentence should be:
“Here’s a picture of my mom & me relaxing on the deck.”
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Hi Melanie,
Thank you for taking time to answer to my question!
IIt’s one of example sentences of “Relaxing as a gerund” in Vocabulary-How to relax.
Thanks a lot!
OK! Thanks. I’ve corrected it. Even native speakers make mistakes!
= )
thanks for the article.
only when i read it, i became aware of the different forms of “relax”.
i enjoy your articles.