In this post I look at different relationships (dating, marriage, divorce) and show you different verb phrases and vocabulary to use to talk about your relationship.

Dating
Usually, the 1st step in a relationship is going out on a date with someone. Here are some verb phrases you can use to talk about a date:

to go on a date (with someone)
I went out on a date with him once. It was kind of boring.

to have a date (with someone)
I have a date with Jamie tonight! We’re going out for dinner and then to a movie.

to go out (with someone)*
I’m going out with Fred tonight. We’re going to the U2 concert.

Note that in the above verb phrases, date is used as a noun. In this case, with is used to indicate that there is someone else on the date too.

However, when you want to talk about how long you have been in a relationship with someone, date is used as a verb, WITHOUT with:

to date (someone)
I’ve been dating him for 4 months.
NOT X: I’ve been dating with him for 4 months.

She’s dating Ken.
I’m dating an incredible guy right now!
I’m tired of dating losers – I want a real man!

*to go out (with someone) can be an ambiguous phrase
– it could mean that you are spending time with friends:
I’m going out with the girls tonight!

– it could mean that you are on a date with someone:
I’m going out with Adam tonight. It’s our first date!

– it could mean that you have been in a relationship for a long time with someone:
They’ve been going out for 5 years.
I’ve been going out with him for 2 ½ years.

Marriage
When two people decide to get married, the man usually proposes to the woman, and asks “Will you marry me?”

After the proposal but before the wedding, the couple is engaged. They are engaged to be married.

They are engaged! They got engaged last month.

They plan to marry next month.

I intend to marry my current boyfriend.

The verb phrase to get married (to someone) is used to refer to the actual day of the wedding or the act of getting married.

They’re getting married on June 16th.

I really want to get married and have a family.

We got married when we were very young.

We got married on May 5th.

After the wedding, you can use be married (to someone):

We were married on May 5th

I am married.

We are married.

She is married to Jim.

Note that in ALL of the above sentences, with is NOT used with marry or married. This is a common mistake that English learners make:

Jim is my uncle. He’s married to Samantha.
X: Jim is my uncle. He’s married with Samantha.

The end of a relationship
Not all relationships end in marriage. Often couples break up. Sometimes the break-up is easy, sometimes it’s heart-breaking.

a break-up (noun)
to break up (verb)

It was not an easy break-up.

Did you hear that Jane and Kevin broke up last week?

Sometimes it takes people a long time to get over a break-up. They feel sad that the relationship is over, and it will take them awhile to feel better about it.

I’m still getting over Sam.

I’m still getting over my last boyfriend.

I’m still getting over my break-up with Sam.

You can refer to the person as your ex-girlfriend, or your ex-boyfriend, or just your ex.

Sadly, not all marriages last forever either! Sometimes couples will separate. They don’t want to live together anymore, but they don’t want to get divorced yet.

We are separated. We’re working through our marital problems.

We’re not divorced yet. We’re just separated.

You can be divorced, you can divorce (someone), or you can get a divorce (from someone):

I want a divorce!

It’s just not working out. We’re getting a divorce.

I was married for 10 years, but now I’m divorced.

He and his wife divorced 5 years ago.

After the divorce, you can refer to the person as your ex-husband or ex-wife, or just your ex.

English pronunciation can be maddening, because just when you have matched a sound to a spelling pattern – another word comes along that doesn’t follow the rule!

Do you know the difference in pronunciation between say and says? In this video I show you the difference, as well as the difference in pronunciation for …

student – study
create – creature
treat – threat
please – pleasant
dream / dreamed – dreamt
politics – political – politician
photograph – photography – photographer
economy – economic

Happy studying!

More Pronunciation Videos:
The Alphabet
Numbers I – How to Say English Numbers 0-99
Numbers II – How to Say English Numbers 100 – 1 trillion
Numbers III – Time, Sports Scores, Money, Years, Population
7 Commonly Mispronounced English Words
5 More Commonly Mispronounced English Words
11 English Words with Silent Letters

In a previous post, I showed you when you can use have got. In this post, let’s look at using have (got) to.

[*Have to and have got to can be used interchangeably. In this post I write have (got) to to indicate that both forms can be used.]

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The meaning of have (got) to is completely different from have/have got:

Use have (got) to to talk about an obligation, or something that is necessary to do.

We have (got) to go to school tomorrow.

James cancelled our date tonight. He’s (got) to work late.

You can’t just show up at her house! You have (got) to call her first.

*Remember, have (got) to is always followed by a verb. You can think of it as have (got) + infinitive.

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Negative form:
*Use don’t and doesn’t:

I don’t have to be at work until 2pm tomorrow.

She doesn’t have to start her new job until May 9th.

We don’t have to go to school tomorrow! Yay!

*The negative form for have got to is NOT commonly used in American English:
X: I haven’t got to be at work until 2pm tomorrow.
X: She hasn’t got to start her new job until May 9th.

Question form:
*Use do/don’t and does/doesn’t:

Do you have to go to school tomorrow?

Don’t you have to be home by midnight?

Does this report have to be finished today?

Doesn’t she have to work tomorrow?

*The question form for have got to is NOT commonly used in American English:
X: Have you got to go to school tomorrow?
X: What time have you got to be there?

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*In American English, have got to is only used in the simple present tense!

Have to can be used in other tenses:

Simple Past
We had to leave before the concert was over.

She had to leave the party early because she had to be home by midnight.

He had to spend $2,000 to repair his car after the accident.

Future
You can use have (got) to to talk about the future if you have already made plans to do something, or if you are now obligated to do something in the future.

Note that, even though you are talking about something happening in the future, the simple present tense is still used:

I have (got) to call my mom tomorrow.

We have (got) to go shopping for a dress before the wedding.

He has (got) to improve his grades before he can go to university.

You can use will/won’t have to [NOT will have got to] in the 1st conditional (future possible/real conditional). It means that you will be obligated to do something or it will be necessary to something in the future:

If I don’t go to university I will have to get a job.

When the kids grow up and move out, we’ll have to sell the house and move into a smaller one.

*be going to can be used instead of will:

The new owners of the farm are going to have to tear down the old barn and build a new one.

If she doesn’t buy a new car, she’s going to have to take the bus every day to work.

*In American English, have (got) to is not used in the present continuous form.
X: I am having (got) to …

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Have got to can also be used as an exclamation. Use have got to when you are certain about something:

You can’t be serious. You have got to be kidding me!

She has got to be crazy to want to bungee jump!

This has got to be your sweater! It’s definitely not mine.

*This use of have (got) to is only used in the simple present tense.

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Gotta is NOT a word!
‘Gotta’ is the sound that native English speakers make when they say ‘got to.’ It is NOT a proper English word and should NOT be used in written English!

In a previous post, I explained the difference between everyday and every day. In this post, let’s look at three different words: sometimes, sometime & some time. Again, these are words that native speakers often have trouble with!

Sometimes is an adverb of frequency. Think of it as halfway between never and always.

Example sentences:Sometimes I am so tired I can’t get out of bed!

He sometimes plays tennis instead of going to the gym.

We like to go to the beach on vacation sometimes.

Sometime (no ‘s’) is also an adverb, but it is used to talk about an unspecified point in the future or an unspecified point in the past

Example sentences:We should get together for coffee sometime!

Sometime soon I would like you to clean your room!

The accident occurred sometime before 6pm.

When you use some time, it’s like saying ‘some food’ or ‘some people’ – some is used to talk about how much of the noun time you have or want.

Example sentences:Do you have some time to check my essay?

She has some time to spend in her garden now that she’s quit her job.

Take some time to think about the offer before you accept or decline it.

He was able to buy some time by saying his wife was out of town & he can’t make a decision without her.
(idiom – to buy time)

Everyday or every day?

Is everyday one word or two? To be honest with you – most native English speakers couldn’t answer this question!

Here is the answer:

Every day means just that – every single, individual day. It’s two words. Think of it like ‘every year’ or ‘every month’ or ‘every hour.’ It is used to describe a habit or repeated action.

Example sentences:
Every day I try to talk to people on Twitter!

She takes her dog for a walk every day.

Try to learn a new word every day.

However, everyday is also a word – but it has a completely different meaning!

Everyday (one word) is an adjective. It is used to describe a noun. According to the Cambridge Advanced Learner’s Dictionary it means ordinary, typical or usual.

Example sentences:
Her work clothes are very different from her everyday clothes.

He misses his everyday life in America.

I’m so tired of cooking boring, everyday meals. I need a change!

This is a common mistake that even native English speakers make! You may be reading something and see everyday or every day used incorrectly. Remember, there is an important difference between these words!

When I teach the present perfect tense, I find that students understand it better when it is explained in categories. In this post I explain one of the main uses of the present perfect: to talk about your how long you have done something. I also show you how and when to use for, since and ago.

How long have you…?

You can use the present perfect tense when you want to talk about how long you have done something, or for what amount of time you have done something:

I have lived in Paris for 7 years.

I have been a vegetarian since I was a young boy.

I have worked for this company for 4 months.

I have loved you since the day I met you!

We have been married for 30 years.

The present perfect is used to talk about an action that began in the past and continues up to the present (and will probably continue in the future). This is the important thing to remember about using the present perfect: the activity / action / event is still going on. It has not finished.

This is the difference between the present perfect and the simple past: the simple past is used to talk about an action that started and FINISHED in the past, while the present perfect is used to talk about an action that started in the past and CONTINUES in the present.

Compare:

I have studied French for 10 years. (present perfect)
(I started studying French 10 years ago, and I am still studying it now.)

I studied French for 10 years. (simple past)
(I started studying French 10 years ago. I finished studying French 2 years ago. I am not studying French now.)

Notice that I used ‘for 10 years’ in the above example. Why did I use for? Could I have used since in the above examples?

for + a period of time:
for 6 years, for 5 months, for 4 days, for a long time

since + a point in time in the past:
since 2008, since I was a child, since last month, since yesterday.

I could have used since, but only with the present perfect:

I have studied French since 2000.

Since is not used with the simple past:

Incorrect: I studied French since 2000.

When can you use ago?

Ago is not used with the present perfect. It is used with the simple past.

Compare:

Do you know Catherine? Yes I know Catherine.
(simple present – I know her now.)

How long have you known her? I’ve known her for 6 six years / since 2004.
(present perfect)

I met her 6 years ago. We were in the same class at school.
(simple past)

More example sentences using the present perfect:

My mom is in New York City on a business trip. She has been there since Monday.

I live in Canada. I have lived in Canada my entire life.

Jen and Mark have been married for 25 years.

It has been such a miserable day. It has been raining all day!

She has smoked (cigarettes) since she was a teenager.

Related posts:
Present Perfect I: Have you ever been to…?
Present Perfect II: Have you ever (done something)?

When I teach the present perfect tense, I find that students understand it better when it is explained in categories. In this post I explain one of the main uses of the present perfect: to talk about your life experiences.

Have you ever been to . . . ?

You can use the present perfect to talk about a place, city or country you have visited or travelled to. The present perfect is used to talk about if, at any point in your life in the past, you have visited or travelled to a specific place.

It is common in English to use the verb be to talk about places you have visited or travelled to. Using the verbs ‘visit’ or ‘travel’ is more formal.

*Note that the preposition to is used with ‘be’ in the present perfect:

Correct answers:
Yes, I have!
Yes, I’ve been to Rome (once, twice, etc.).
Yes, I’ve been there (once, twice, etc.).
No, I haven’t!
No, I haven’t been to Italy.
No, I haven’t been there.
No, I’ve never been to Rome.
No, I’ve never been there.

Incorrect answers:
Yes, I’ve ever been to Rome.
No, I’ve never been in Rome.
Yes, I’ve been to there.
Yes, I’ve been to Rome in 2005.

Remember …

If you want to say WHEN you did something, use the simple past:
Have you ever been to Rome?
Yes, I’ve been to Rome! I went to Rome in 2005.

March was an excellent month! I joined MyEnglishClub, and I met lots of new people there, as well as on Twitter and Facebook! Visits to my blog more than doubled this month!

Pronunciation
In three months, my 6 videos on YouTube have had almost 10,000 views combined! That’s unbelievable! Thanks everyone for watching my videos. I hope you find them useful.
11 English Words with Silent Letters
Numbers 2 – How to Say Numbers from 100-1 trillion
Numbers 3 – How to Say Different Numbers in English

Reading
Happy St. Patrick’s Day!
It’s Easter Time!

Vocabulary
Vocabulary Spotlight on: The Oscars
Social Media Vocabulary Explained

Grammar
Gerunds & Infinitives – Combinations with Gerunds
Future – What are you doing this weekend?

Most Viewed Post This Month:
11 English Words with Silent Letters

Thank you for visiting my website! I hope you continue to find my posts useful for improving your English. Please let me know if there’s anything you’d like to see on my blog in the future!

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